[citation][nom]kami3k[/nom]Committing suicide IS selfish. You think of no one but yourself, you are basically saying you are the only one who ever goes through hard times in your life, that and not caring when family or friends will have to go through when you die.It's being selfish. Also retarded because you are taking your own life. I have understanding, I nearly did it myself. Afterwards I looked back I realize I selfish I was being, also retarded for even trying. This was when I 14. I know what I'm talking about, you do not.[/citation]
Actually, I deal with a very heavy dose of bipolar disorder each and every day. I have had numerous encounters with near-suicides, a few involving police, and one of those involving being blackmailed by a couple of cops. So yeah, I do know what I'm talking about.
The most important suicide attempt was when I had been taking medications. A few years ago, I had decided to start a new life after all the miserable pain I'd been experiencing, and in an effort to "fix" myself (even though bipolar disorder is incurable) for everyone that cared about me and wanted me to succeed, I underwent intensive therapy and treatment with medications. The combination of 5 medications I had been taking in various dosages was destroying me and robbing me of the basic ability to think, and everyone around me just stood around and watched as I could barely finish a sentence, and as I woke up in the middle of the night shaking and screaming from a searing pain I couldn't get rid of. Eventually I sacrificed so much of myself, I didn't have much left to give in the state I was in. I couldn't feel anything but raw pain anymore. And finally, one last part of my life collapsed, and I couldn't bear anything anymore. I would've just continued sinking further and further into oblivion until death came for me. But instead I made one last desperate attempt to shake the disease. I overdosed, taking every last pill I had, totaling hundreds of antipsychotics, anti-depressants, and other psychotropic medicines. I spent three days in a state of delirium, lost and talking to shadow people, with only a few snippets of conscious feeling remaining with me to this day. Does that make me selfish, a simple wish to end the pain and do something for myself for once, after giving every last part of me away? As it turns out, the overdose was the best thing I could've done. Since I had no meds left, and had to recover for a few days, I got sober for the first time in what seemed like endless months. It allowed me to make a conscious decision again, and it gave me the will to fight on for a purpose beyond the hell of my day-to-day life.
So I don't want to hear about your petty suicide attempt and how much shit you think you've been though. You don't know anything about suicide. It's not selfish, and it's not stupid. It is wrong and wasteful in the sense that you're going to die anyway and might as well live for the chance of a better day. But maybe you should think a little bit (something you don't seem to be in the habit of doing) before you criticize and laugh at somebody whose problems just might be a little worse than yours. Go die in a fire, you insensitive prick. The world could stand to lose a few people like you.