The Apple Car Is Coming in 2019 (Report)

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reactive

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Mar 30, 2009
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Let me make some predictions, if this Apple car ever makes it to production...

1) It will have an Apple CarCharger connector. This will be subtly different from any existing car charger plug standard. If you want to charge your Apple car at any standard charging point, you'll have to buy an Apple CarChargeAdaptor costing $2,500.

2) It will have special Apple tyres that are a non-standard size, so you can only replace them with Apple tyres. They will cost 3 times the price of a normal tyre, and you can only go to an Apple CarShop to get them fitted.

3) The battery in the Model 1 car will have a puny battery that fills only half the available space designed to hold it. After a year you'll be so annoyed you'll camp out for a week at Apple CarShop to get the first of the Model 2 cars, which will be more expensive than the original. You'll quietly hide your 'old' Model 1 behind some bushes at the end of your garden and try to forget how much it cost.

4) There will be an unusually high number of reports of broken windshields. Apple will deny it's a design fault and blame customers for driving into too many flying stones.

5) When your windshield breaks, your warranty will be voided if you use an ordinary tow-truck to take your broken Model 1 to be fixed. However, you'll be OK provided you sign up to AppleTow for $1,000/year, whereby they'll contract the towing service to exactly the same company, except the driver will use a white Apple TowRope instead of the reliable old greasy one he's used for years.
 
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