1) Please edit your language before a moderator gets involved. Cussing is not allowed here.
2) I assume you have tried all USB ports to no avail.
3) Your laptop manufacturer should have a page for USB drivers, but that is rare in need as Windows normally installs them automatically.
4) Pertaining to #3, have you checked in device manager to see if you have errors showing up under the USB drop down tree or if you do not see "Intel(R) ICH9 Family USB Universal Host Controller" listings?