My laptop keyboard gives trouble

[wetmanpatterson]

My problem is the same as Raekwonthechef but none of the answers I've seen doesn't work please I need help.
Right now I am posting this report via my mobile phone, my laptop keys on the keyboard doesn't work as it should every key I press send me to another program or setting, Example:
I press W it send me to Microsoft store, I press U, I, O, P, V and C it will not work [ = lows down my brightness, ]= carries it up, the colon changes my contrast and left shift does the same of number lock and the most I've experienced so far is that when I hold down any of the keys it slows down my system, everything sticks, the mouse won't move and when I'm playing music and hold a key down I sticks the sound slows down while sticking.

I want to know what to do.

 

[Saga Lout]

That's well screwed up. Was any liquid involved in the making of this situation? Have you turned it upside down on your shoulder and smakced it on the base as though you were burping your baby?

That usually releases toast crumbs and cat fur all over your clothes and has been known to fix the problem. That said, yours seems to be a bad case. Can you borrow a USB keyboard to see if that behaves the same?