You are right - none of this has necessarily been proven yet, but that's what the court hearings are for. Let's take a supposed look at Gizmodo here for a second and see who the bad guy is, based on what is likely the case:
- Gizmodo pays for stolen intellectual property without any reasonable attempt to return it to the original owner, with full intent/hope that it is, indeed, leaked intellectual property
- Gizmodo black mails Gray Powell for $12,000 telling him that's what it will take to get the phone back, or they will publish it along with information on Powell himself. Yikes, if true, that certainly removes any doubt on the last point.
- Gizmodo slanders Gray Powell by posting pictures of him from his facebook with alcohol and writing a story with subtle yet snide remarks implying his irresponsibility with the device. Slander.
- Gizmodo blatantly publishes information on the Apple prototype device, claiming themselves that is almost certainly the next, top secret iPhone... which just so happens to be acknowledging that they are in fact broadcasting trade secrets and in illegal possession of intellectual property.
- Apple sends a letter asking for the phone back. Gizmodo proceeds to tear down the device and post more information, after Apple has confirmed that the device is in fact theirs.
The state police respond (likely on behalf of Apple's request) with well warranted legal action in response to this. And you claim that by upholding state and federal law, Apple is "losing customers with how they handle things?" In my book, Gizmodo loses readership and support for pulling something like this. It's unethical and unprofessional, whether they did it to Microsoft, Apple, or Taco Bell. Any charges or legal action Apple takes is well within their right, both by legal standards and ethical standards.
Your statement that "all Apple is doing is losing customers" is based on no fact and (in my opinion) poor reasoning, likely induced from a very small (and quite skewed) sampling of forum responses on a website full of people that predominantly already dislike anything and everything Apple.