Utilitarian notebook quest

[McGuffin]

Hi all,

This post is not a prank and I'm not trolling. Sharing my internal thoughts and concerns only, would appreciate any constructive input.

So, I looked through the new hardware from apple rolled out and it made me all angry and I don't think I'm getting a new [strike]toster[/strike] macbook.

But what am I getting then?

- Obviously I'm going to install OSX on any hardware I find, win is has a nightmare UX that nix systems only copy, getting 2nd hand nightmare. Just one popping dialog "Are you sure you want to do what you have just asked me to do?" and I want to smash it to pieces, too much stress working with a system that assumes you're dumb af, I'm a scientist, I'm both arrogant and never wrong.

- Apple hardware has 16gb ram and I'm currently having a desktop with 32gb and it's noooot enough for sure. I have no idea if any laptop, weighting any kg can give me, say 128gb ram? If not - what's the absolute top you can fit on a laptop chasis for any money? Is there a laptop that can have 32-64 or 96gb ram? I sometimes open 2000-3000 tabs and I need it. I always browse till computer just crashes from few hundred apps and all the open windows and stuff. Don't judge.

- I want a portable system that can have no lag dual 5K displays, or better yet more than dual - 3 or 4 displays with 5K on them? Currently I have 5 displays, one 43" 4k, two 30" and two 24". What I do is I have various dashboards and chrome windows on all of them, pulling information from different sources, notifying me of changes. It looks like a trading system where they have all market stocks, but it's just regular web browsing with fully embraced ADHD. My attention span is 5 seconds and I love it. Having some 10 different youtube videos playing muted at the same time is not uncommon - I like to stumble upon new stuff.

What I am ready to compromise on:

- I should be fine with notebook system up to some 7-8-10 cm height. I don't care. It still would remain portable, I don't really carry my stuff to places. It doesn't sit in front of me either - It stands on the side of the table, I'm working with external displays and keyboard and mouse anyway. Then I pack up, go to another place, connect it to displays there and again use as highly portable desktop computer with an attached display and built-in keyboard/touchpad. Hell, I never use those, but once every few weeks you need to type something in or when you don't have a mouse - you do use a touchpad.

- I don't need a big battery in it at all. If it pulls 10 minutes I'm fine. I need it in a laptop case not for the battery - but to have everything in one brick-like shape so I can carry it in one go and it has everything it needs to run. You can't escape the charger wires - but I'm buying a separate charger+mouse+keyboard+displays in every place, so I don't have to carry any of this stuff around. I'd only carry the brick itself.

- I don't care if it's ugly or beautiful, when I'm home it's not even on my desk - it's under the desk. Beautiful laptop is like beautiful toilet plunge, I want it to be effective, not to show off.

Teh plan

I want to start pinging barebone manufacturers in China about that kind of specs. Best modern ram (can I has 128?), modern video (dual 1080?), cpu (how many can you put in? server xeons? cost is irrelevant, build me a lamborgini) - but it can be wrapped in a trash can, I don't care about the case, the screen, the keys on the keyboard I'll only type password to unlock it maybe once in a while.

Seriously, I will work with my external displays, mouse, keyboard. The brick's place will be under the table.

I mean I only want as much horsepower as they can fit into a laptop format case that a grown-up adult man can lift from the ground. If I can - it's portable enough for me. I want the top to be the lid that I will open and there will be a screen, a keyboard, a touchpad - all noname crappy cheapos, don't care. The spice will flow from how it works, not how it looks.

So the serious question is: can they do it? Is there a chasis, a design that would house a disney beast, a medusa gorgon of notebooks? Does it even make sense nudging people on it?

I don't think I can build it around any desktop motherboard, but worst case scenario I was seriously thinking to take one of those aluminum briefcases like this one https/www.amazon.co.uk/Maplin-Hard-Secured-Flight-Case/dp/B008MOJQ6A/ or similar - and actually jam my stuff in there, it should fit, sorta. I'm just way too lazy to build it myself.. and maybe there are other freaks that are hoarding for specs?

I see manufacturers all running after what apple does and it's a direction where kitchen appliances went - cool, but I don't want another toster. I want a professional machine built like a Soyuz rocket - not like Virgin spaceship with curves and martinis, but one you can knock with a hammer and it'll be all fine with it, like Bobcat or Caterpillar, like Bosh or Karcher or Merkava tank - built from purely utilitarian perspective, no designers allowed to approach, everything maxed out and rugged around and is just pure maximum of personal computing that human species can fit in as little space as possible.

Any advice appreciated.

 

[WyomingKnott]

Well, I feel your pain, but you have to deal with what's actually on the market. If you approach Chinese manufacturers, they are not going to start a product line with a customer base of one. I would look at two things - the best desktop-replacement notebook that there is, or a mini-itx system with a handle, such as people use for gaming meetups. You've requested man-portable, not light.

The problem with the mini-itx would be keyboard and screen. If you accept an external keyboard, secondary screens for gaming portables do exist.

Second, I think that you should ease off on the confirmation dialogs. I've been working with these things for forty-six years now, and I still click on the wrong thing now and then. The time I waste clicking confirmations pales compared to the recovery time I would have wasted without them. You wrote "I'm a scientist, I'm both arrogant and never wrong," and I'm assuming it's self-deprecating humor.

(NOTE TO ALL - posts picking on that sentence will not be allowed. Don't even think it.)

As to Bobcat strength, several manufacturers make ruggedized machines that survive pretty well in factory and field conditions. I am not aware of one that overlaps with the "desktop replacement" market, but one might exist.

Would you do me a favor? Take a look at the Acer Aspire V Nitro (not an endorsement) and tell me where it falls short, other than ruggedness.

One final comment. There's nothing wrong with toasters. They work perfectly well for 98% of us. In fact, I'm a Windows and desktop-hardware bigot and I had to work on a Macbook Air for three months straight recently. I liked it. I'm back on my Windows box right now, and it's just personal preference - I have the switchbox to use the same two fullsized monitors, keyboard, and trackball with either of my machines.

EDIT: Please be careful posting about installing OSX on non-Apple hardware. I believe that it can be done legally, but it's a very fine line, most of the tools to do so are in fact unlawful, and discussions tend to get combative over the subject. Also, OSX is actually *nix based; to the best of my knowledge it's running on top of a Linux kernel.