Kidnapped Kids Found on Facebook 15 Years Later

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eccentric909

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To win custody of my child, I had to "prove" to be an able parent, meanwhile they granted the mother custody without having to prove a damn thing.

Luckily a year and a half later, after I had proven I was a good father and she had proven how much of an idiot she was, I finally was granted full custody. There were also clear signs of neglect and child services had been called quite a few times before and after the battle for custody was underway.

The courts are so gender bias when it comes to custody, it's ridiculous. While this father shouldn't have kidnapped his kids, I do understand where he was coming from and his frustration with the court system and the clear and present bias that is held.

I had to take parenting classes and jump through so many hoops just to prove I could be a father, while she didn't have to do anything whatsoever and had child services called on her BEFORE we even went to court. So, does it really seem fair that I was the one who had to "prove" I was able? I had not done anything except pay child support and fight tooth, nail and claw only to get to see him whenever she decided I could. Which is when I decided to press the issue with the court.

Even still, in their eyes (for a year and a half) a neglectful mother was a better parent than the father who paid child support on time and was fighting for all he could to see his child. I was doing what was best for my child and trying to offer him a better life, rather than his crazy mother (who later had 4 more children, all of which she has been on the brink of losing many times).

She was granted supervised visits once every 2 weeks, how often do you think she actually makes it to see him? Currently she visits maybe ONCE per year. Even still the bias that remains is ridiculous and even though I have full custody, her child support is set at... a huge $25 a week (and has never been changed), of which she doesn't even pay. 12 years ago when she had custody, I was paying $85 a week. Talk about a slap in the face. But you know what? I don't press the courts for the money, it doesn't matter in the end, because my son is happier, healthier and much better off than he ever would have been with her in the picture, or *shudder* with her as his full-time parent.

The system is screwed up and really needs to change. Of course there are dead-beats on both sides, but the days of the mother automatically being granted custody need to end. Our court system shouldn't be so biased in the mother's favor. Equality should take precendence over some antiquated notion that the kid is always better off with the mother, because they're not.

There is no justice in this story. What the father did was not right, but I can easily sympathize with him. I know what it's like to try and fight within that system. $12,000 and a year and half of court battles was enough to make me want to rip my hair out, over a bias that is completely skewed towards the mother, that fathers barely even stand a chance. Still to this day, I believe if I had not hired a fantastic lawyer, that nutcase would still have custody of my son. She of course, didn't have to hire anyone, the court was already on her side (even with documented cases of neglect against her).
 

gumbedamit

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Everyone is talking about the mother pressing charges. First, she does not need to press charges, kidnapping is a Federal offense. Once she called the police, it was out of her hands. I don't think there is enough information to make an assumtion about the fathers innocence or guilt, so lets not jump to conclusions. I take issue in the posts listed talking about how father are no good and they leave anyway. If this man took his kids and left, I'm sure there was a damn good reason. There have been times when I would have liked to have done the same myself. Laws here and the preferential treatmen that women get in court leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. I am a single dad and I don't think that my childrens mother is half the parent that I am. With that being said, lets wait to get all the details and get back to something we do know about, TECH TALK..
 

gumbedamit

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Another thing, with all of these people finder websites charging a few $$$ to find someone, why did it take her so long to find her children? Did he change his name and SS# She knew her daughers name enough to find her on Facebook. Did she come down off her high and found herself setting in front of a computer and said, hmm, let me put my daughers name in the search box and see what happens. How hard did she really look with all of these tools available to her?
 

a4mula

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A tragic story with a happy Facebook ending.

I hope this was sarcasm. This entire story from the father taking his children, to the complete and total ignoring of the law to arrest and persecute him illustrates the sad state of affairs our legal system is in.

There are no heroes here, only villains and victims.
 

snurp85

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ok i dont know the details, but if the children were properly brought up by the father, they should stay with the father. they dont even know their mother! while what the dad did was wrong, it doesnt change the fact that he raised them for 15 years as their father. this is kinda bullshit imo
 

bildo123

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[citation][nom]yzfr1guy[/nom]and I thought facebook was only for stalking, privacy invading, horny married people that want to cheat, and wasting time at work...[/citation]

It is, this is just an exception, not the rule.
 

ljport78

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Those people on here saying that "You must not have children" only care about the mother. This isn't about the mother it is about the children. Think about someone other than yourself sometime.
 

Milleman

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Is almost always, the children are the losers. Losing a father to jail and forced to live with a mother that they don't know. Yes, the father did wrong from the beginning. But this development isn't right towards the kids anyway.
 
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Are you people that ignorant. The mother has all the right to put him in jail for the rest of his life. He stole those two children away from there mother. Be it 2 days be it 15 yrs I would still be looking for my children and never let go.
 

clivene09

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[citation][nom]dinns[/nom]Are you people that ignorant. The mother has all the right to put him in jail for the rest of his life. He stole those two children away from there mother. Be it 2 days be it 15 yrs I would still be looking for my children and never let go.[/citation]
While every statement you said is correct 100%. What about these children? While it is criminal that they have not seen their mother since they were toddlers, where is their justice to be forcibly relocated across country to the custody of a stranger? I would guess that unless they really really wanted to be with their mom, they will be back in Florida as soon as they are legally allowed to.
 

tburns1

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[citation][nom]gm0n3y[/nom]I can't believe the selfish parents posting on this. Yes the father was wrong and 'deserves' to be punished. That doesn't mean that punishment is what's best for the children. All this has done is make the mom happy, the children got screwed. There is no win/win for this situation, but what happened is certainly not the best option.[/citation]

We don't really know if the kids are screwed! Maybe he's a jacka$$? Maybe he lied to his kids for 15 years, telling them thier mother was dead? Maybe they were told that thier mother didn't love them and that's why she never was a part of thier lives? Understand ...denying them thier mother is abuse. Surely, if he was BS'ing the kids that they very well might not want to forgive him. Any "normal" life they may be having before this is a complete smoke screen. The kids DESERVE to deal with the truth.
 

gm0n3y

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[citation][nom]tburns1[/nom]We don't really know if the kids are screwed! Maybe he's a jacka$$? Maybe he lied to his kids for 15 years, telling them thier mother was dead? Maybe they were told that thier mother didn't love them and that's why she never was a part of thier lives? Understand ...denying them thier mother is abuse. Surely, if he was BS'ing the kids that they very well might not want to forgive him. Any "normal" life they may be having before this is a complete smoke screen. The kids DESERVE to deal with the truth.[/citation]
I disagree that not telling the kids about their mom is abuse. Ever heard that ignorance is bliss? I'm not saying that he is a good father, I'm just saying that not knowing your mother is not child abuse. From your comment the mother shouldn't have even tried to contact the kids for fear of shattering their world.
 
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Why is the mother at fault?
There is a reason why he was arrested. We may not know all the facts. As a mother myself i would NEVER stop looking for my children. We dont know what these children were told by the father about their mother,Its a hard case, Why did he take off them them, was there a reason he wouldnt get custody??? these things we do not know,but to say the mother is in the WRONG is not right, She has a right to see her children as does the father, the father in this case messed up by taking the children.. To keep looking for your children after so long just provces she loves them, Not saying the father doesnt love them either, BUT i agree with what she done, and hope other children taken by a parent, either mother or father can be reunited.
 
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It is stated that she contacted the San Bernardino Deputy District Attorney Kurt Rowley, so maybe there was a court order awarding the children 2 and 3 year old children to her 15 years ago however, these kids don't know anything but their father as their sole parent and we don't know the underlying reasons for him taking them in the first place and until those facts are made public then who's to say who is right or wrong in this situation, but I think the mother could have resolved this in a better way than how she did it. She could have gone to Florida to confront the husband and to meet the children before ripping them from their father, having him incarcerated and moving them clear across the country away from the only life they have known. Evidently the father was a good father to them otherwise the authorities in Florida at some point would have taken them away from him. This is a sad situation all around because if the mother was a good mother then she lost her children when they were babies and they lost a mother they never really knew, and if this is the case then the father was wrong on how he went about keeping his children and taking them away from their mother so long ago. But, I do agree that these children are now old enough to decide what they want and maybe the mother should move to Florida and keep them in the only environment they have known and let them adjust to the fact that they now have a mother, get to know them and then let them decide where they want to be. Sad, very sad!
 
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I couldn't imagine losing my child at such a young age and not seeing them for so many years. The poor mom probably dreamt one day she would see them again. Maybe the father was lying to the children about her being a bad mom. Maybe he was a control freak. Maybe she already threatened to leave him and so he beat her to it and wounded the worst possible way because he was selfish. Kidnapping is wrong. That man cheated those kids out of knowing their mother. He was selfish. Those poor kids will probably not trust either of them because we all know how critical teens can be. And its true you never really know what its like until you have your own baby that you carried for nine months and then delivvered. I never quite understood it, till I had my own child.
 
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The father is the hero here? Most of you people are making it sound like it's ok for one parent to run off with the children and if they can get away with it long enough, they will be celebrated. WHAT? Do you all not realize what kind of damage this might have done to the children having to grow up without their mom. The father deserves to be punished for what he took away from these children.
 
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I was kidnapped in late 70s. calif, i want to go home now. if anyone can help me.
It was ventura county. thats all i know
 
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