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why does the tv volume so crazy one minute it to low next minute to damn loud that it scares u?

Older TVs used to have this issue with commercials. TV shows would only run on one speaker and the commercials were in stereo and would run in two. So the TV show would be fairly quite, but as soon as a commercial came on, both speakers were used. It was because it did not have the correct wiring between analog and digital.
 
Not sure if commercials is the ops issue but for the discussion above, here in Australia adds are purposely set louder so those grabbing a quick fix from the kitchen can still hear. Its denied of course. Talk back radio talk about it often on tv subjects, they denying the volume is louder is total bs and annoying. All broadcasting here is in stereo.
 


Is it the actual TV, or the content (commercials), or the actual show?

In theory, according to FCC rules (in the US), the average volume in the ad can't be louder than the average volume of the associated TV show.
CALM Act of 2012
https://www.fcc.gov/media/policy/loud-commercials

 
Solution
Another possibility if anyone you know has the same tv or remote they're not pranking ya through a window lol been there done that 😀