Matching Algorithm Claim of Online Dating Sites Likely False

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Tab54o

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This is the exact thing that's wrong with Eharmony. They make you fill out a bunch of crap, tests just to be able to talk to someone. Would be much more effective to just skip the crap and meet the person and find out IN REAL LIFE if the person is a match or not. All boilsd down to how fast you can meet people and weed them out.
 

Cy-Kill

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I know when eHarmony started, I tried it a few times, because I was not looking for someone of my own ethnicity, I'd get an email saying something along the lines of "sorry, we can't help you, because we don't have a match"....
 

kittle

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I tried eHarmony for a while, but after 1,000 "matches" that never responded to anything, I gave up.
too many weeds I guess.
 

drwho1

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“To date, there is no compelling evidence that any online dating matching algorithm actually works,”

Really?
I thought that the whole was enough Evidence of their BS.
 

drwho1

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Dammit still no way to EDIT on Toms!

I meant to post:

“To date, there is no compelling evidence that any online dating matching algorithm actually works,”

Really?
I thought that the whole claim was enough Evidence of their BS.
 

igot1forya

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I found this Cracked.com article particularly funny - Matching X-Men to their soul-mates using dating sites :) It's amazing how these sites even exist.

cracked.com/blog/matching-x-men-real-dating-sites-experiment/
 

SirGCal

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Actually, I found the better sites, like eHarmony actually work if you're honest with yourself and the questionnaires... Once I broke down and did a no BS profile for myself, it took about 4 months to find my new wife. And we are matched so well it's almost unimaginable. And only now do I understand what real love is, and you can't explain it to someone who never knew and I was married for 13 years before this one and 'thought' I was in love.That's another story...

Anyhow; Sure, it might have just been luck and coincidence... But I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Plus we are not the only couples that I know who were successful with this method. The biggest difference then other sites is it is not a 'pick a picture' type system. You are given potential matches to your profile. If you weren't honest, or they weren't honest, it won't ever work. If you really are painfully honest with yourself, it might work for you.

Or it could all be bunk and the lucky people like myself were simply that, lucky... But I spent thousands with other matching services, online and off, after my divorce with no quality results and very little money (~120 if I remember) to eHarmony and it blew all of the others away with my results. But again, to be honest, I could have just been lucky. But then, I personally know a lot of couples that were 'lucky' if that is indeed the case...

If it didn't work for you, I truly am sorry. But I wounder, were you really honest?

Back to the topic though; If they algorithms are an industry secret (obviously, they aren't going to publish them), how can anyone really say how it does or doesn't work? They can't hand it to the MIT algorithm destruction (so to speak) group to break it down and see what fails or how it compares to other similar company type algorithms. So how can they really say anything about it? It's easy to say 'there is no evidence' simply because it's a trade secret and not published information they can break down. Obviously this is so other companies don't steal their ideas (patents only protect so far... hence secret formulas in food products and recipes as another good example). Without the entire algorithms to analyze, this whole thing is simply another speculation anyhow. Plus, they state what is and isn't compared... What site(s) are they specifically talking about? They don't even mention that. But it sounds like eHarmony WAS NOT one of them:

For example, the sites ignore data from a couple’s "interaction style and ability to navigate stressful circumstances" - information that cannot be analyzed with the data that is provided by the individuals using such services.

I remember parts of eHarmony's questionnaire and it did have questions pertaining to these types of life situations. Infact, the one thing that caught my eye about it, other then the fact it took forever to complete the over 250 questions, was how detailed it actually was and the extremely personal questions they did ask. Lieing or stretching the truth of yourself would also be extremely easy. That's why I had to really do it and be painfully honest with myself. But that's when it also worked.

Was it luck or the real deal? Honestly, I'll probably never know. But I'm eternally grateful to eHarmony either way. Match, Yahoo, etc. never came close... But I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive to have really found my soul-mate; and it would never have happened if it wasn't for eHarmony. That simple fact is indisputable.
 

ronml

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Forget algorithms, I'd settle for better search mechanisms on certain sites.
I'm Jewish and politically conservative. (Both matter to me.) The obvious site would be JDdate, but they don't even let me search be ideology. They do have a ridiculous color coded personality scheme, which is just plain worthless.
Match is OK for this. Other sites really do give worthless choices. That and tons of scammers.
 

socalboomer

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[citation][nom]SirGCal[/nom]Actually, I found the better sites, like eHarmony actually work if you're honest with yourself and the questionnaires... Once I broke down and did a no BS profile for myself, it took about 4 months to find my new wife. And we are matched so well it's almost unimaginable. And only now do I understand what real love is, and you can't explain it to someone who never knew and I was married for 13 years before this one and 'thought' I was in love.That's another story...Anyhow; Sure, it might have just been luck and coincidence... But I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Plus we are not the only couples that I know who were successful with this method. The biggest difference then other sites is it is not a 'pick a picture' type system. You are given potential matches to your profile. If you weren't honest, or they weren't honest, it won't ever work. If you really are painfully honest with yourself, it might work for you.Or it could all be bunk and the lucky people like myself were simply that, lucky... But I spent thousands with other matching services, online and off, after my divorce with no quality results and very little money (~120 if I remember) to eHarmony and it blew all of the others away with my results. But again, to be honest, I could have just been lucky. But then, I personally know a lot of couples that were 'lucky' if that is indeed the case...If it didn't work for you, I truly am sorry. But I wounder, were you really honest?Back to the topic though; If they algorithms are an industry secret (obviously, they aren't going to publish them), how can anyone really say how it does or doesn't work? They can't hand it to the MIT algorithm destruction (so to speak) group to break it down and see what fails or how it compares to other similar company type algorithms. So how can they really say anything about it? It's easy to say 'there is no evidence' simply because it's a trade secret and not published information they can break down. Obviously this is so other companies don't steal their ideas (patents only protect so far... hence secret formulas in food products and recipes as another good example). Without the entire algorithms to analyze, this whole thing is simply another speculation anyhow. Plus, they state what is and isn't compared... What site(s) are they specifically talking about? They don't even mention that. But it sounds like eHarmony WAS NOT one of them:For example, the sites ignore data from a couple’s "interaction style and ability to navigate stressful circumstances" - information that cannot be analyzed with the data that is provided by the individuals using such services.I remember parts of eHarmony's questionnaire and it did have questions pertaining to these types of life situations. Infact, the one thing that caught my eye about it, other then the fact it took forever to complete the over 250 questions, was how detailed it actually was and the extremely personal questions they did ask. Lieing or stretching the truth of yourself would also be extremely easy. That's why I had to really do it and be painfully honest with myself. But that's when it also worked.Was it luck or the real deal? Honestly, I'll probably never know. But I'm eternally grateful to eHarmony either way. Match, Yahoo, etc. never came close... But I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive to have really found my soul-mate; and it would never have happened if it wasn't for eHarmony. That simple fact is indisputable.[/citation]

This exactly (minus the previous 13 year relationship) - I found my wife on EH and it was literally "click" within the first several minutes. You get out of it what you put into it. I don't know about the algorithms, but I know it worked for us.
 

torque79

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I don't understand how people feel they can be so honest on that eharmony questionnaire. I found that roughly half the questions are closely related to the same question they asked a few pages ago (so it's easy to contradict yourself), and SO MANY of the questions were vague and inconsequential, so that I did not care which answer I picked but I had to pick SOMETHING to keep going. How can it establish my personality traits and matching potential based on a lot of questions I don't care about and end up having to pick a random answer to continue?
 

tmk221

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[citation][nom]drwho1[/nom]Dammit still no way to EDIT on Toms![/citation]

for the 100th time: click "Read the comments on the forums" (on top of comments section) and then you are free to edit your shit
 

liamecrow

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I am currently living with somebody I met on OKCupid, but we didn't actually match up all that well using the site's algorithm. Even if the matching metrics are not quite as science-y as they would lead you to believe, that doesn't mean that it can't help you find somebody. For those of you male commenters who clearly have been burned by dating sites: you can put a nigh-infinite amount of effort into messaging girls and not get any attention, because EVERY guy on these sites sends 100s of emails out, and so the attractive female profiles are just constantly being bombarded by guys looking to hook up or obviously copy pasted emails from mildly interested guys. The best thing you can do is create an account, maybe put 30 minutes of legitimate effort into sending a few interesting seeming women a week, and leave it alone! Stop compulsively messaging every cleavage shot and checking your account every few seconds to see if you got a reply. Unless you're exceptionally attractive, that is not going to get you much attention that way, and will get burnt out too fast. Dating sites can be massively demoralizing, but so can going to a bar and hitting on every pretty face you see. If you keep the door open though, sometimes somebody good will come through.
 

dark_lord69

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Well I you gues can say whatever but I'm sure everyone's experiences will be different.

Personally I dated a girl on Match.com awesome in bed but we didn't mesh well in many other different ways.... so it didn't workout.

Then I tried eHarmony. I was much more compatible with the girl I met on there, infact I married her.
 
G

Guest

Guest
Hey guys. Not sure if you know this. I heard from a reliable source that the 3 top dating websites (I'm assuming eHarmony is one of them) match people primarily based in their astrological signs...so take that however you want to.
 

N.Broekhuijsen

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NOOOOO really??!?!?

The only real matchmaker in life, is life itself. Meet a bunch of people and get heartbroken a million times, only then will you eventually find someone.

And we all know: You can't cheat life.
 

fulle

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LOL, this comment thread might make me try out eHarmony. Relying on an algorithm seems no less crazy than approaching women IRL based solely on physical attraction.
 
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