can't disalbe self defense Kaspersky IS !!

Go into Task Manager > Start up Tab and see if you can disable Kaspersky.

Or use msconfig to get to the System Configuration screen > Services Tab and uncheck Kaspersky.
 
Unfortunately couldn't uncheck kaspersky every time i try to uncheck it and press apply it comes back again checked even when i exit from the prog and the self-defense is still enabled :??: