Am I the only one that read reason #2 to say "14.4 kbps" rather than "14.4 Mbps" the first time?
Also, for all the ranting about "smart" phones, I've not seen a single "dumb" phone sold new in the USA in YEARS. Even the crappy $5US throw-away TracFones (the kind that terrorists probably buy to detonate IEDs) supports GPS, a phone, apps, and a web browser with full 3G support.
I mean, SURE, the camera's a laughable 640x480, and the processor and RAM are probably weak enough that browsing would be slow as molasses, and there's probably a shortage of apps you can download... But then again, smartphones of a few years ago didn't have those features, or even ones the new crappy phones have, at all! For instance, I distinctly recall the first iPhone being pre-3G and not having any real app support for the first year or so of its life... But it's always been considered a "smart" phone.